Fighting the noise

When does it become acceptable to let yourself give in to that base instinct of wallowing when things get too much?  We all have our limits, we all have periods of struggle, we all have varying degrees of challenge but what makes people give in to it all at varying speeds?  One thing i’ve found, in my experience, is that the people who tend to do the most wallowing are the ones with the least to actually moan about.  Just look at your facebook wall, how many random people on there do you have that post the most ridiculous statement followed by “FML” or “things just couldn’t get any worse”.  I’m not talking about people who do those things facing real life adversity or having suffered a particularly horrific experience, I’m referring to the “OMG, I really want a pop tart and there’s not one in my cupboard, FML”.  Now remember, when reading that previous comment, you are specifically to say it in your head in the most pathetic and mocking tone possible.  If you don’t, or you actually feel any kind of sympathy from that scenario, then this entry is not going to be a winner in your world.  It’s not my wish to rip apart everyone who has been guilty of that on occasion, I’m talking about the attention seekers who seem to have something to moan about on a ridiculously regular basis.

I’ve met some really strong people in my life.  Most of the strongest people have been to hell and back without the need to expect everyone to bow at their feet and treat them like some kind of  victorious warrior.  In fact those are the people who, when truly up against the wall with the most horrific circumstances you can imagine, will be the ones to utter the words “what have I got to moan about?  There are people out there in way worse situations than me!”.  These wonderful people actively feel guilty about the time where they have no option but to give in and feel bad for themselves.  It’s inevitable, yet they still feel that their natural reaction is inappropriate.  If you are not capable of painting a happy face on when your world is crumbling around your ears, then you know things have got to disaster point.  This is the time the best thing to do is actively wallow, either on your own or with one friend who also feels the need to.  Wallowing together can be so much more heartbreaking at the time, but it makes it all the easier to rush through the process and come out the other side without feeling the need to drag the entire world down with you.  If you’re on your own then make sure you use every trigger possible to induce as much emotion as you are able.  Listen to the most depressing songs, watch that youtube video that always makes you sob, put on that film or tv series that can bring a snot bubble quicker than anything else you’ve ever known and eat that junk food that you know you’re really craving.  Do it, wallow like a pig in shit, because once you have got it out you wake up the next morning, pick yourself up and carry on with that smile right back on your face.

The greatest analogy that I have is that all of your problems or worries are little rocks that eventually form into a mountain.  Every now and then the balance of a rock, bigger than the rest of the pile, gets put on top and a little avalanche occurs.  This doesn’t mean that you are now a complete basket case, are going to go into a downward spiral of never ending darkness and will find yourself in the locked ward of your local mental hospital.  It just means that you’re human and things have got too much that day.  However, if the slightest rock that you put on causes a daily crisis then you really should have a word with yourself, I’m sure it’s not actually as bad as you want the world to think it is!  Also, if you never feel guilty for feeling bad or low, then the chances are you’re one of THOSE people.  If you are one of THOSE people then please just slap yourself now, it’ll save so many people wanting to instead.

At the moment, I’m teetering on the edge of all of those things.  If I can’t maintain my facade then I’d much rather retreat so as to not have to subject people to my negativity.  It’s mine, nobody else’s, and i’ve no reason to bring anyone around me down.  I just wish other people had the awareness to do the same!



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