In direct comparison to my thoughts on oral sex, are there the same issues when hands are being used instead of mouths? Is everything down to personal preference or are there specific things that would work on everybody? Obviously that question is gender specific considering the fact that the parts they’re referring to are the main differences between the sexes. Given, there may well be certain things that are shared by both, but the idea that comes to mind when thinking about using hands is usually mental images of hand jobs or fingering. Again, I should probably break it down into categories, purely to try and avoid intertwining a million different ideas into one.
For me a hand job is specifically used to stimulate the male purely with the use of hands. There are certain aspects that can intertwine with oral or fingering but the majority is purely the use of hands on the genitals as a whole. Strangely, my hands are the one area of sex where I will always feel 100% confident. I have never had a situation where someone has had any kind of issue with the way I have used them and have had more compliments about that than everything else added together. I’m not sure whether it’s the fact that I have large hands for a girl or if my grip is more measured than your average person but I enjoy taking the time to explore and find the appropriate buttons to push when learning a new person’s pleasure zones. The biggest enemy you’ll come up against is lactic acid! Keeping the grip and the rhythm at the time you need it can be excruciating, especially if the person wriggles through pleasure. All it takes is a tiny change in the angle that you (or they) are lying and it can make you feel like you’re doing the largest workout in the world. Inappropriately, this always makes me giggle if I start to feel my arm muscles seize up. Probably not the best thing when you’re trying to finally get someone to climax!
Realistically, is there an average length of time for a hand job to take? Is it indicative of how well you’re doing or how much effort you’re putting in or is it purely just how ‘in the zone’ you both are? Is it both together? Obviously I’m referring to singular hand jobs as the main event rather than the concept of mutual masturbation. I’d say that was a different thing altogether as the intent is slightly different.
I have found that the early stages of hand jobs require the most variation. If you keep to the same rhythm and grip the entire time, then you’re looking at a pretty non-descript orgasm. If you can stretch it out and mix it up a little bit then the resulting climax is stronger. Play with the rhythm, concentrate on different parts of the area and change about your technique to bring a whole new level of pleasure. The one exception to that is when you are on the home straight. At the final burst of stimulation then you have to keep the same rhythm, the same grip sensations and the same (usually fast) speed or else there’s guaranteed to be a drop off in excitement. With my sub, I have described to him (by text) how I want him to play with himself. How fast, how slow, when to start, when to stop, where to concentrate on, how to grip and to get him as close as possible without orgasm. He has said himself that the way I get him to touch himself is better than anything he has ever been able to do to himself because I make him experience sensations he wouldn’t normally consider. He is currently working on being able to orgasm on demand and can get pretty close to the mark when I count him down. If I was doing it myself, I believe I could get him to climax on 1 with less effort than I believe it takes him. But I digress. I have had partners (including my husband) who, on occasion, prefer me to use my hands rather than anything else because of the different sensations they experience. My husband has even confessed to trying to imitate what I do, during his alone time, but has failed. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t think I’m anything special, I just wonder whether people use them purely to get hard instead of wanting to pleasure as much as possible.
This can be a vast and varied subject! Fingering can also be something that is related to both males and females, based on the orifices available for the act. The only real frames of reference that I have are what brings me pleasure or I have used to bring others to that point. There are sub-categories of people included in this topic: the ones who cum from stimulating their g spot, the ones who squirt from stimulating their g spot, the ones who only like their clitoris touched but not entered, the ones who like to feel filled up with a whole load of fingers (or fist), the ones who can only manage a couple at a stretch, the ones who like to explore the rear entry and the ones who like to have fingers in both holes! Obviously, there are a few of those which are gender specific but otherwise can be either of the sexes.
Like any sexual subject, I often wonder if there are many others out there who like to be touched the same way that I do. As I’m ridiculously sensitive, in general, I find that a lot of people tend touch me too roughly. As the flipside to that, however, when being penetrated by fingers (or anything else for that matter) I enjoy when it’s a little bit more forceful! This is all on the understanding that any touch of my clitoris has to be the gentlest touch possible. The vast majority of people who have touched my sensitive areas have always gone in too forcefully and either hurt me or desensitised me to the point of orgasm being an impossibility!
A circular motion of 2 fingers around my clitoris is the thing that has always worked for me the best but I’m aware of people who masturbate using full hands or purely rubbing the external lips. There are even people that I’m aware of who dry hump pillows but, as we’re talking specifically about fingering, that would be kind of off topic.
Squirting is something that I’m gifted/afflicted with and is caused by rather forceful fingering hitting my g-spot. This isn’t an orgasm but something that causes a gland to trigger and excrete a liquid. It’s not urine but uses a short part of the tube which carries it so has a very mild aroma to it because of it. The saltiness is very different from the tastes that would normally be excreted but it seems to be the act itself that tends to fascinate your average person.
Fingers entering bottoms are a completely different subject, but still a sub category of fingering, I’d say. I’m not shy with exploring that part of the body, either with myself or with another, although I don’t think it would be anything to randomly surprise someone with. I have pulled it out of the blue and playfully been called a “dirty bitch”, but you’d really have to judge the person that you’re exploiting/exploring before even considering such a thing.
The majority of people who like to incorporate feet into their sex play tend to have a very defined fetish regarding it. I have had moments of using feet as a form of masturbation when he didn’t seem to have a specific fetish surrounding it but that seemed to be more of a fascination or experimentation. It was oddly enjoyable to watch. I definitely don’t have a foot fetish but have enjoyed others’ fetishes. Having your toes sucked can be an amazing sensation, as long as you’re comfortable that your feet are clean enough and are already in an experimentally horny place. If the conditions aren’t right, however, you can be left feeling like you just walked through the swamps barefoot and the person’s down there tasting the various creatures and fungi currently in habitation (in your mind).
I’ve never seen the beauty of feet, personally, but understanding someone who does see beauty in them can be an amazing thing. To know how to take an alluring photograph of something you don’t also find alluring can be challenging but a skill, all the same. I have previously sent a few photos that look completely odd to me but are directly added into someone’s spank bank. Fascinating! I don’t care, as long as it’s me that they’re finding attractive, whatever the capacity.
So far, I have only ever discovered the arches of the feet and the toes as specific areas that you can use, yourself, to cause sensation in others. There’s a surprising amount of grip in the curls of the toes and the gap between arches tend to be exactly the right size (obviously depending on the other person in question) if you get the angle right.
To lube or not to lube, that is the question.
For me: Lube, always lube! If you can get tingle lube then all the better but even your generic regular type is better than nothing. If you have nothing, however, when stimulating a clitoris I would always say make sure the area is always as wet as possible! That could be any kind of moisture but nothing that would give you a horrible infection! A dry and forceful finger will always hurt and I defy anyone to say that they can find dry rubbing even slightly pleasurable. Even with hand jobs, a little bit of lube goes a long way. Add blowing to tingle lube and you’ve got a whole new level of sensation. I wanted to add the subject of lube earlier but realised that I’d have to add it to everything, so figured it was best to just create its own stand alone category.
I would always be really curious to hear what other people think and have experienced. I genuinely would love to know how I differ from others, as the conversations I’ve had with all of my female friends seem to back up my preferences. Diversity would be fascinating!