Your own worst enemy

Negativity is everywhere!  It’s probably the greatest plague of the current day society.  I’d even say that it trumps ignorance, poverty and bigotry purely based on the fact that the worst people I have ever met in my life have been the most negative.  Although I hate them with a passion, there’s a small part of me that can tolerate ignorance and bigotry if the person in question can see that it’s the way they were brought up and just haven’t branched into the idea of free thinking.  Poverty is something that’s often cited as being a plague on society, but if you look at the people in that situation there is more positivity than people who have everything.

I read a blog the other day from a person who was talking about how much she will miss out on in her life because she is fat.  Now I’m not talking huge fat, she even stated that she is 78kg so nowhere near the ‘look at that freak’ size!  This was the most incomprehensible part for me.  I have been borderline ‘look at that freak’ fat and have always at least been hardcore fat but have never seen it really effect my life.  I was also brought up under the social conditioning that fat people will never attract a partner and continued to prove them wrong on a massive scale over the years.  I can relate to the sentiment that this girl was writing about, I’ve lived it, but to hear her be so utterly down on herself was horrific to read.  People don’t seem to understand that the person you are, doesn’t happen without effort.  If you want to be a good person then you have to put the work in to be that; the same being relevant for feeling good about yourself.  Nobody feels good about themselves out of nowhere!  There will be days, however, that you’ll wake up and feel fantastic.  You’ve no reason why, nothing has changed, but you’ll look in the mirror and just think ‘yes’.  These are the most precious days of your life and something that you need to pay attention to try and work out what is different on those days.

How can anyone go through their lives thinking that nobody will ever want to kiss them or hold them or love them?  Even if you are a self-proclaimed weirdo there’s still guaranteed to be another one out there who will think that you’re awesome!  I have to admit that I would feel uncomfortable around anyone who believed that they weren’t worth spending any kind of time with since they must think that there is some kind of justified reason for this.  It’s like a warning lable attached to their forehead keeping people away.

When I was a very young teenager, I decided that I wanted to be the best possible person I can be.  If I can make a difference in just one person’s life, for the better, then I’ve done what I’m put here to do.  This made me realise that to be someone who can make a difference, I have to be someone that people would like to be around and to think about the kind of people I don’t like being around so that I could avoid it.  As it turns out, my genetic make up has very little to do with that!  People will always judge you on face value and I’m sure people will, more often than not, think that I must be unhealthy/stupid/unfit/lazy because I’m fat.  They learn very quickly that none of those are actually accurate but it’s fun to see them change.

The problem with being a positive person is that you notice just how much negativity is around you.  It makes it all the more frustrating when you see people who think that the world owes them something and are utterly belligerent that nothing will ever change who they are.  Of course it won’t, because the change needs to come from them and that would just seem like too much work!  Can it really be that difficult to think of all of the things you have in your life and be grateful for at least some of it?  To look at yourself and have bits of yourself that you actually like?  To realise that your life is what you make of it?  That people out there aren’t just going to spoon feed you for the whole of your life?

Oddly, the most positive people that I know are the people who have dealt with the greatest amount of adversity.  Life just hasn’t given these people a break but their worlds are filled with big green fields and lolloping bunny rabbits.  Every now and then there’ll be a little crumble in their optimism but soon enough it’s business as usual.  These people never have great deals of money, not always have the greatest physical health but can see the amazing things all around us.  They understand that it’s easier to just avoid the poisonous people and not let the negativity seep in but even then the poisonous people will always blame others for why they don’t want to have them in their lives.  Just remember, if you have people who continually leave your life under the same set of circumstances, you have to always ask yourself what it is that YOU’RE doing to cause that.  If you look at something and expect it to go wrong, then the chances are that it will because you will push it to happen.  Everyone is worthy of their place on this planet, they just have to realise that so is everyone else.  Just because you feel bad it doesn’t mean that you need to pull everyone down with you.  Just try sucking in some of their positivity instead, it might just rub off on you.

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